As I have read the news the past couple months involving nursing moms, I can’t help but appreciate how much easier it is to nurse a baby in public now than a decade ago when I was a new mother. This summer we took the kids to a theme park. I nursed the baby several times on various park benches and saw many other mothers doing the same. It was nice, normal. A decade ago that was not the case. Even public breastfeeding under a blanket was frowned upon back then, and yes, I have hidden. I have left my food when I was still hungry to find a private place, or eaten it alone, nursed in a locker room, waited in the car, listened to the party through the wall. Many times I just stayed home. It is not actually fun to feel banished.
That said, I have more often not hidden. Even when I was nursing Pi eleven years ago I had a vague feeling that if enough of us would just feed our babies in the mall, in the restaurant, and *gasp* in front of our fathers, that someday it would be ordinary. That someday is beginning to happen.
Still, some well meaning folks don’t quite get it yet. It drives me nuts the way my doctor, otherwise stellar, will act all hushed and embarrassed if he walks in the exam room where I am nursing my newborn with a blanket. “Oh! I’m sorry! You are feeding the baby. Can I come in?” It gives one the impression that this ritual should be done in seclusion. This ritual that occurs 12 times every day. Some also still insist we should simply feed a bottle in public. Well, by the time my babies were eight weeks old they already were refusing to drink from a bottle. They would have sooner accepted a gastric feeding tube through the nose than suck on a rubber nipple. They were smart like that.
When an acquaintance born in the 1930’s, Dean, passed away, a story was told at his funeral: When Dean was a baby, his mother was asked to get up and say a few words in church. She passed him to another mother who also had a baby. Well, Dean got a little fussy, so this other woman nursed him to keep him happy until his mother finished talking. The woman happened to stutter, and when Dean grew up he also stuttered. His family always joked that he had gotten “stutter milk.” When I heard this story I was struck not only by the humor, but also how not so long ago breastfeeding was simply not taboo, even in a conservative church congregation (and with a friend’s baby!) When my daughters grow up, I hope it will be that way again. They might not even realize that there was a time that we had to hide.
I have only experienced breastfeeding my twin sons 16 months. I don’t remember people nursing in public much nor seeing my SIL feed her children 5-12 yrs but she did BF them.I do nurse in front of my brother/uncles etc and only recently my Father inlaw (80).
I guess I feel more conscious of their embarassment than what they might say. If there is a more private place on the lounge,than at the dinner table I will go there. Also, it is better for the baby being less distracted.
As a Nurse in the children’s ward I didn’t see a lot of mums Breastfeeding either.
I think it is still taboo in a lot of places but getting better like you said. I think it is a change for the better.
Thank goodness there are changes! Its insane that such a beautiful thing is seen as tainted. To all you anti breastfeeders out there – I have the right to feed my child the way nature intended – from my breast. I have the right to do it where it is safe and convenient. I have the right to do it discreetly in public any time my child needs sustenance. I have the right to breastfeed my child without you sexualizing it or degrading it with obscene comments. I have the right to feed my child the way I wish regardless of your opinion. If it offends you – Don’t look!
Turn your gaze to the next scantily clad, non nursing pair of boobs to go past you and take your mind off the horrific experience of being subjected to nature at its finest!